Grant J. Kidney’s delicious ‘controversies’

Grant J. Kidney’s delicious ‘controversies’

I started as an Internet troll mixing truth with satire. I was once hugely popular on the now defunct Myspace social network. Back then, approximately 75% of my content was satire. In those days, I was positioning myself to be a mix between Anton LaVey, Andrew Dice Clay and Rush Limbaugh. As years progressed and I got older, I became more serious about politics. I didn’t necessarily stop with the ‘trolling’, but I definitely dropped my phony stage presence that I had initially set out to create. 

In this recent era of my life, I have diverted more energy into serious issues. However, every now and then I’ll deliberately tweet something ‘fun’ that I know will garner the Left’s scorn.

A lot of newcomers to my brand aren’t aware of my trolly past. Many a leftist nincompoop will scroll through past posts and screenshot particularly ‘naughty’ things I might have said that they believe will get me in ‘trouble’. 

The following is one such example of a post that the Left believes could ‘unravel’ my platform and expose me as some kind of ‘menace’ to society:

After announcing that I’m running for Congress in 2020, some have messaged me threatening to unleash ‘dirt’ on Grant J. Kidney. I guess certain people want to stop my congressional run before it begins.

The fact is, one cannot dig up dirt on an admitted ‘shock jock’ who began his career saying the most outrageous things one could possibly imagine. It would be like trying to get Andrew Dice Clay in trouble for statements made at the height of his stardom.

Just as a refresher, here’s Andrew Dice Clay…

Nonetheless, the Left will soon learn that I actually find many of my old posts really quite humorous despite having refined much of my work as of late. I’m not afraid to speak up, speak out, have fun and exercise my first amendment right. I will NOT cease in this respect and promise *additional* trolly posts (from time to time) that I know will specifically trigger many left wing liberal dolts.

A lot of confusion over my politics and demeanor lies in the fact that the Left has yet to adjust to the notion that the ‘Right’ no longer consists of puritanical, moral absolutists in ways that it had generations prior. There is a new, young constituency in charge, driven by the likes of Donald Trump and Milo Yiannopoulos. And while I believe in God and in preserving customs and traditions paramount to Western civilization’s survival, I also cuss, smoke cigars, drink vodka and have a good time. 

Besides drumming up old posts that I find *absolutely* hilarious and will never, ever apologize for, the Left also likes to point out the following about your’s truly…

-They say I worked at an Apple store when I did not. Seriously. You can call Apple’s HR department and confirm. I worked as a senior tech advisor at Apple corporate. You can easily hunt down old colleagues and ask. The confusion comes after an ex girlfriend was ‘mined’ for information about me by a left wing radical with an IQ of zero.

-They point out the fact that I’m admittedly ‘bisexual’ yet speak out against the LGBT movement in America. My view has always been that ‘LGBT’, like Black Lives Matter, is a Democratic Party operation- a cult of identity politics designed to subvert traditional Western values and promote cultural Marxist ideology. I personally do not wish to be counted amongst those who promote collectivist, anti-American points of view. 

-They point out that I had a ‘Men in Black’ fan club when I was a kid. I’m confused how this matters? 🤔

-They point out that I possessed very different religious and political affiliations in the far past. It is worthy to note that mostly nothing from approximately 2008-2011- including my self published book, ‘The Illumination: An Anthology of Truths’- could be considered ‘serious’ insofar as content is concerned. Regarding shifting political views, it is true that I once held some liberal/socialist views. Over time, however- and after many life changing circumstances- my opinions morphed into what they are today. 

I’m running for Congress in 2020 to help ensure President Trump’s MAGA agenda is implemented in my home state. I have said many ‘shocking’ and ‘deliberate’ things in the past because it’s what I enjoyed doing at the time. I take nothing back and will never, ever apologize. If voters don’t like my past, let them pick some other candidate to run their district.

The truth is, if the Left is going to stop me, they’ll need to do better than rehashing old funny tweets, saying I worked for Apple and making fun of a childhood, Men in Black fan club. The Left will need to step up to the plate and debate me on REAL issues.

-Grant J. Kidney